I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
