i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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