I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
