I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize