I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
