My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
