I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
