Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize