Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
