Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
