It's Friday. Sex?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
