K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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