dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
