And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
