If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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