Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
