you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
