is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
