this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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