There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
