So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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