we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
