the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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