dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
