apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
