Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
