Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
