i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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