this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
