At least make sure they are 18
Why
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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