What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
