okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
