I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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