Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How naked do you want me to be?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
