People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize