I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She bit a glass in half.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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