totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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