More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
