We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
