Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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