I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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