Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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