Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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