Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
