I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
