Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
