Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
