Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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