David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I forget how to act sober
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
