The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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