That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
