you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
