We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
