The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
