Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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