the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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