anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
