Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
