Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
