and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize