using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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