I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
