what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize