i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you will always have a special place in my vag
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
