Nicole vs. Life
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
