Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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