Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize