Christians are straight up FREAKS
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Randomize
