4 words: hood of his car
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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