Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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