You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
