I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
