I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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